Jealousy? Ha, gimme a break.

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As accurate as this description may be, why do we experience jealously?  I don’t mean to sound pretentious, but it’s a simple question with endless answers. “The fear that the affection from our partner may be bestowed upon someone other than one’s own self.” Say that it’s from a male friend (platonic relationship) talking to my female bestie ( another platonic relationship). It’s fine, right? Okay, I don’t portray myself to be a jealous person naturally, or even envious. I live my life with narrow lens. I perceive people as either simply  the haves and the havenots…It’s pointless to be envious of what someone elses has in general. Mitchell has purple Beats, and I don’t, big whoop. The world isn’t going to stop spinning.  But why….why did I found myself seething with anger, when he chose to massage her, and forgot about me? Oh wait, I can answer that already. He messaged her before me, obviously, and claimed to forget my username . _ . . But, what he said next: “she’s nice” “people say you can be nice sometimes” “don’t come back, I don’t mind“. Such simple words hurt. I don’t know why. I said I’m typically stoic, but I am a human, and humans do cry, lol.

 

This is the Angelic bae, Christina  (If you’re reading this, I love you <3)

Christina is the girl who brings out the best in me. We’re like the Yin and yang ( okay maybe two Yin’s?) But you get the picture. A brief summary isn’t sufficient. This girl needs a whole essay! She’s one of the few closest friends that I have. I’m comfortable around her, even divulging some of my deepest secrets to her, because I trust her and care about her so much. She’s one of those rarities that everyone loves. She’s humble, bubbly, energetic, and she instantly brightens up any room with her presence.

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As for myself:

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I’m not white, OKAY .-.

The best (and most accurate) way to describe myself is a polar opposite to Angelic-Yuu. I’m cynical, prideful, and I hate cooperating with other people. I’m anti-social, introverted, and I can become detached, unemotional, shy and introverted. I also consider myself to be somewhat passive-aggressive. If someone angers me, or if I just happened to be thrusted into a situation in where there are people whom I dislike, generally, it’s very obvious by my body signal. I can transform from happy and cheerful to seething with anger and hate, I can be casually pessimistic. With that being said I can be nice, but it’s spontaneous, usually. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe that I’m a detestable human being, although I wondered for the longest why opposites attract?

 

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Mei and Yamato are so cute together

When I think of opposites attracting, I think of Mei and Yamato from “Say I love you”. Mei is an introverted 16-year-old (which is ironic cause her birthday in the book is christmas, which is a week after mine, and she turns 17. >_> )  And Yamato is the hot, popular guy in their school whom all the girls lust over, and he sometimes casually kisses them. ( Okay I don’t want to spoil anyone who hasn’t read the manga) but basically Yamato was attracted to Mei, because she was different. When he kissed her recklessly,she reacted negatively, whilst other girls would faint. And the more he knew about this girl, the more he fell in love with her. She’s kind, wise, compassionate, and selfless.

 

*Sighs* I don’t even know where I’m going with this. I guess I feel inadequate. Despite the countless fights me and him have had in the span of two years..we always talk to each other eventually. I’m not sure if it’s a volatile relationship, but…we do talk don’t we?

 

Idk you guys, do you think it’s jealousy, or something more?

~ Annie ❤

 

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